More Jokes for you!

My last hub on laughter was such a good success that I decided to write another one. Laughter is good medicine, so relax and my prayer is that these jokes will uplift you and make your day.

A man in his 50's talked to his doctor. " Doc, I am concerned about my wife. Everytime I talk to her, she doesn't seem to be hearing me;" The doctor, concerned, gave him this advice. "Try this experiment. Stand five feet next to her and ask her what's for dinner in your normal voice. Then if that doesn't work, stand two feet and ask her the same question. If that, still, doesn't work, then stand 6 inches from where she is. If after all that, she doesn't respond, she's going deaf. Have her make an appointment to see me!" The man, concerned, thanked the doctor and proceeded to do his experiment.

Five o'clock came and the man stood next to his wife as the doctor ordered. "Honey, what's for dinner?" No response. Then he stood two feet and asked the same question. No response. Finally, running out of patience, he asked the same question again with his frustration showing in his voice, visibly disturbed. His wife, turned around and said-"For the third time, I told you rice with pork and beans!"

A Preacher had some dentures fitted on a Wednesday morning. Sunday morning came and he preached for 10 minutes. The next Sunday, he preached for 20 minutes. Then, finally, on the other Sunday, he preached for an hour and a half. When his deacons asked him why did he preached so long, he said- "On the 1st Sunday, my gums were hurting me!" On the 2nd Sunday, my dentures were hurting me. On the third Sunday, I, accidentally, grabbed my wife's dentures and couldn't stop talking!"

One beautiful Sunday morning, an elderly lady came to the local church. Since she limped and walked with a cane, a friendly deacon came to help her. "Welcome to our church! Where do you want to sit at?" The lady answered-"The front row, please!" The deacon, trying to be discreet, whispered to her ear- You might reconsider where you sit. He's pretty boring!" The lady, shocked, asked him-"Do you know who I am?" The deacon responded--"No!" " I am the Pastor's mother!"--said the Lady. The deacon, responded-"Do you know who I am?" "No!"-responded the elderly lady. "GOOD!" --said the deacon.

Three Pastors were staying in a hotel room, where they were attending a big church convention. They decided to confess their secret sins to one another. The first one said that he had a problem with gambling. Every so often, I go to Vegas and I like to bet on the slot machines. Those sounds fascinate me with all that money rolling around. The other Pastor said that he likes to check out the nice young ladies at his church. The other one said-"My weakness is gossiping and I can't wait to get out of this room!"

Two Pastors and a deacon were on a boat sailing. They had been all day trying to catch some fish. The first Pastor said-" I'm going to grab a sandwich!"---he got out of the boat, walked on water all the way to shore. The deacon,not believing his eyes, was amazed. The other Pastor said-" I'm going to get a soda"--Got out of the boat, walked on water to shore. Shocked, the deacon rubbed his eyes again. Finally, he decided to give it a shot and splash. The deacon, all wet, proceeded to swim ashore. The Pastor tells his friend--"You reckon we should've told him where the pebbles were at?"